2PPissed

There is a creeping desperation engulfing many journalists as they realise that more than a week after the election they still have no fucking idea what will happen, who is in charge, or if they'll be able to remember all the names of the independents. Like someone who has lost their balance in the vicinity of a rancid koi pond, they will grasp at anything that will momentarily postpone their inevitable plunge into the murky sludge, chip packets and transparent fish of national irrelevance.

Take for example yesterday's obsession with the utterly meaningless 'seesawing race' of the two-party preferred vote. The whole thing smacked of reporting for reporting sake. Yesterday's stories completely ignored the fact that a whole eight seats were removed from the 2PP count yesterday by the AEC for procedural reasons. So sure, the Coalition was leading on votes, BUT ONLY IF YOU DON'T COUNT ALL OF THE VOTES. Jesus Christ, how about you actually ring someone at the AEC and ask them, instead of just opening the front page of their website and then running to your editor, yelling like a child who just shat in the potty unassisted for the first time?

The AEC is of course, pressured to release 2PP preferred figures even when they know they mean nothing. This is a close election, it will literally be weeks until the correct 2PP is known. We will either have a Government or another election by then so it will make no difference at all. Are we really going to see daily updates in News Ltd for the next three weeks?

Some blame must go to the parties who like to talk this shit up when it's in their favour, like Gillard did the day after the election, and like Julie Bishop did yesterday when she basically claimed the Coalition had won the election. They know that 2PP means nothing and is constitutionally irrelevant. It comes down to numbers in the house, always has, always will. Poor old Antony Green had to come out on his day off and attempt to explain this to people. Let the man sleep for fuck's sake.

In the mean time, while we don't know what's going to happen, how about we just MOVE THE FUCK ON? Did you hear that Rob Palmer won Dancing with the Stars? Who the fuck is that?