The Millstone of Civic Duty

Get ready.

It’s the final week.

Just think, in seven days you can go back to not caring. All of a sudden people will stop telling you that boats are arriving, so you’ll stop complaining about the boats arriving. People will no longer tell you that immigration rates are too high, so you’ll stop thinking that Australia is being flooded with whatever supposed social detritus you hate this week. You won’t have to pretend to watch the 7:30 Report anymore.

In one week we will move into Australia’s favour part of the election cycle: the part that is furthest away from the next election. You will stop feeling pressured to make decisions about things you don’t care about, you will not have to know anything, anymore.

You will have put your vote to auction: going once, going twice, sold! – To the party with the best grasp of how to interpret results from a marginal electorate focus group full of swinging vote arsehats.

People like me will go away. We’ll stop starting Facebook arguments when you say something ridiculous. We’ll stop sending links you to news stories that you would never read anyway. We’ll stop giving you that strange look when you ask if the election has happened yet. For two and a half years we’ll be back in our box. Where we belong.

Masterchef will be back. You’ll get to see people cook things, and then see fat people in cravats eat them. That bald Greek guy will tell you to buy things from Coles. And you will. There’ll be dancing shows, and that one where they sing. People will cry, lose weight and win Hyundais through deception.

But then that time will come again. People will start telling you things. That guy Antony Green will appear again, what's with that guy? Those ads will come on TV again. Is it State or Federal this time? Who cares? It will be annoying, and someone else will have to take the kids to their football/rugby/just get them out of the house/soccer that Saturday morning. I’ll make them pay for asking my opinion. Why can’t they just stop the boats and leave me alone?

Isn’t democracy a bitch?