The Government We Deserve

We've got it. After all the bullshit we finally got the government we deserve: no government at all.

What other result could we have had after a campaign like that? I say, without hyperbole, that this campaign was the most negative, bland, disingenuous, insider gang-bang of self-important fuck-tards in the history of democracy. Okay, so maybe that is hyperbole but fuck it, it's warranted.

I have punched more walls in the past two weeks than I did in my entire tenure at high school.

The electorate has delivered a message so confused that only one thing is sure – no one was really paying attention anyway. And why would they? This election would have disillusioned even the most hard-bitten party hack. Mark Arbib is sobbing into his bag of flavourless energy gel he uses for sustenance in place of food. Nick Minchin is being packed away in some closet in South Australia, even his soulless internal circuitry can not handle the tide of existential sadness.

Only Mark Latham, freshly off the meds (or on them, who can tell?) was smiling on Sunday morning, and even then that was probably because he had just witnessed a massacre of all those who had crossed him. The first step to being king shit of fuck mountain, I can almost guarantee he will run as an independent at the next election.

The next election will be sooner than you think as well, because whoever manages to pull government out of this immense stinking bog will be able to achieve absolutely nothing. If it's Gillard, she will face conservative independents in the lower house, and the Greens in the senate. If it's Abbott, Bob Brown will continuously shit in his lunch and Bob Katter will not let him sleep until Northern Queensland has returned to a system of agrarian socialism.

Nothing will happen, everything will stay the same, we will remain in stasis, and the people will be happy. "Shut-up, leave me alone and tell me when Masterchef starts again." That's the message from the electorate.

And they will reap what they sow.