It’s day one of the 'new paradigm', and it looks and sounds very similar to the previous 'paradigm'. There are some slight differences, like everyone using the word 'paradigm', but otherwise it doesn't seem that ground-breaking. So ignoring for a moment the use of a buzzword network executives use to sound intelligent, what does everyone actually mean by the phrase 'new paradigm'?
Essentially it seems to mean that members of parliament will have less scope to be bastards. If you get asked a question, you may actually (but still probably won’t) have to answer it. There will (won't) be less interjections. Answers are 'limited' to four minutes, questions are 'limited' to 45 seconds and interest will be limited to a whole lot less. All this 'new paradigm' seems to amount to is a half-hearted plea for MPs to stop acting like arse-clowns in parliament. If that's what it is then scrap it right now, because a) it won't happen and b) if it did, parliament would lose its only point of interest.
Sure, people love to complain about their MPs acting like self-centred five-year-olds, hurling mud-pies at other kids they secretly like but that doesn't mean they want it to stop. They love it. They love it in the pants.
If an opposition MP asked a straight-forward, single-part question and a minister then stood up and answered it directly, in a single sentence, what would that achieve? Accountability in government? Improved democracy? Happy-smiley-love times? No, none of those things. It would result in a boring-as-batshit snooze-fest that would kill off any chance of anyone being interested in politics ever again.
No rude interjections or snarky quips? For fucks sake, that's all they have. Conflict is all they have. What would the media report? 'Minister Answers Question in Orderly Manner: Crossfloor Compliments Abound'. Boring. We want: 'PM Shouted Down by Coked-Out Backbencher' or 'Minister Arse-Raped by MPs Tax Zinger'. If it's not debauched, ridiculous, meaningless juvenile pathetic nonsense then we would not be interested.
And it would not be parliament.
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