It takes a lot to wake me out of my political slumber these days. Outrage is tiring, everyone knows that, but who would have thought you could get jaded about being jaded? How can you be too cynical to be bothered coming up with something cynical that makes your friends send you worried text messages? Well, whatever the level of numbness that is required for that to happen has happened to me with federal politics.
A level has been reached. When the same stuff continues to happen over and over again; the same catchphrases, the same predictable responses, there comes a point when you yourself become predictable and catchphrasey. In short, there are not enough synonyms for bullshit. Or despair. Or galloping incompetence. If the Inuit People have 100 words for snow (they don't by the way), then why don’t Australian political journalists have 100 words for mediocrity? It would come in handy for both describing the political landscape and for padding out award announcements at the Walkey's.
Anyway, as with everyone in this country, I got bored after a while and watched My Restaurant Rules.
This is all moot anyway, because something has poked through the numbness. Although it is bullshit, involves despair, galloping incompetence and mediocrity, it was the near perfect juncture of all of those things that managed to tear me away from a TV show of people cooking things in houses: a classic ALP leadership bullshit-a-thon that ever so casually urinated on the highest office we have. It has everything: premature number counts, a ridiculous video leak that was so ham fisted no one could work out who leaked it and why, Tony Abbott breaking out his 'election' chant 2010 style, Peter Garrett being on TV and wishing that he wasn't, and bullshit, oh so much bullshit.
Whether Kevin Rudd actually wants the Prime Ministership back or to merely detonate Julia Gillard's I do not know. Ether way, it's clear that he has a head injury of some kind.
Rudd's chances of taking back the leadership without triggering the election Tony Abbott wants oh so much is sketchy. Rob Oakeshott will not openly support him, if a challenge does happen he'll go home and think about it for three weeks before giving a four-hour press conference that makes everyone want to kill themselves. Windsor will be much the same, except his speech will be shorter. It's actually more likely that Rudd would be relying on neither of them, instead approaching Wilkie and Katter for support. If he thinks that will work he is high. He can look forward to being the leader of the newest minor party in Australia.
If he knows that a return is impossible and he is simply trying to destroy Julia Gillard, then words can not explain the depths of his insanity.
The other scenario is that this is all just bullshit the media have drummed up because of the things I talked about in the first few paragraphs, you know, the depressing stuff.
Whatever the scenario I'm awake now. How long I'm awake for will depend on how many times I hear the phrases 'great big new tax', 'we need an election' and 'luxury refugee apartments with free walk in humidor and speedboat timeshare.'
Won't be long I'm sure.
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