Perfect Storm

It's hard to think of another time when a government has had to fight so many battles, on so many fronts, at the same time, and seem to be losing all of them. Julia Gillard only appears to enjoy being PM when she's overseas, and it's for good reason. Being Prime Minister of Australia, and being in Australia at the same time really fucking sucks. I mean REALLY sucks. I don't know why anyone would do it to themselves. And if, on top of that, you're a Labor Prime Minister, then shit gets real.

It's particularly bad at the moment. You know it's bad when Bill Shorten is seen to be snapping at your heals for the leadership. That's right. Bill Shorten. If I have to hear him say something like "We're getting on with the businessly business of being a business government" again I'm going to suffocate him with his own bomber jacket.

Immigration is an issue again, like it ever went away. If Australians get overcharged for milk twice in a row you can pretty much guarantee immigration will become an issue. "I just payed $4 for 2 litres of semi-skimmed, so fuck those idiots who've lost everything and are burning their makeshift prisons in a justifiable act of pure frustration. Send them back to their war-torn 'nations', or somewhere that's not here, to ease my milk-based expenses/existential despair." As always, this is a no-win situation for Labor and true to form they are not-winning the shit out of it.

The Carbon Tax has become the one of the worst sold policies in recent memory. It's like they wrote 'Carbon Tax' on a big piece of white construction paper and asked Tony Abbott to fill in the gaps. I'd try to defend it, but I don't know what it is. Rest assured the Australian public wouldn't want it anyway, even if it was good, well thought out policy. They do not have a history of that.

Wayne Swan is preparing for the most cutting budget of all time. Lindsay Tanner has written a book saying Julia Gillard dyes her hair. Peter Garrett just said something. Q and A is having a Royal Wedding special. Another State Labor MP reasoned that looking at child porn is good for career advancement. The only joy Julia Gillard is getting out of her job at the moment is going to China and saying 'Human Rights' 700 times.

You think the 2010 election was bad? 2013 is going to be off the hook. Set your baths to warm and your wrists to slit, we're not waking up after this one.