Once Upon a Gaffe

Once in a while, the façade of modern political theatre comes crashing down in such a fashion that everyone just stares at each other awkwardly, waiting for the moment to pass. Of course, then there's the laughter, usually from the side who has just had something of unimaginable idiocy gifted to them by the other side.

Joe Hockey got up this morning and decided he was going to make a call for the Parliament to legislate a control on interest rates. How that would happen is unclear, the point is he said it, and it's presumably Coalition policy.

Meanwhile Don Randall got up this morning and decided that he was going to do a Parliament doorstop interview. This is where MPs 'accidentally' bump into the press on their way into Parliament via a particular door. A door that always has press outside of it, because of all the MPs they keep bumping into. Anyway, after calling into question the sexuality of the national broadcaster, Mr Randall took a question about the proposed policy of controlling interest rates. A very astute reporter asked the question without mentioning that it came from Joe Hockey, and promptly received reward in the form of a horrendous brain-fart from old Donny.

Randall thought the idea was shit, and he said so. In fact he said it was one of 'their lunatic fringe-type ideas'. Their ideas? Who's they, who's he talking about? The Australian Greens he says. Oh dear.

You have just put your foot in your mouth, and then shot yourself in the same foot, therefore killing you.

Randall just assumed that what he perceived as a ridiculous idea could only have come from the Greens, and jumped in with both feet. No doubt Gillard, Swan and Co. must have been splitting their sides. Joe Hockey must be furious, not only has he been bagged by one of his own, he's been compared to the Greens, surely the gravest of insults you could level at a conservative, wet or not.

Randall has since tried to cover-up his cock-up by promptly talking out of his arse. He has claimed he was speaking of something else. Something the Greens were doing, but something that had absolutely nothing to do with the question he was asked. An obviously horse shit back pedal brought upon by extreme internal-party rib-poking.

All this woeful episode reveals is the utter meaninglessness of most political attacks. It doesn't matter what the idea is, as the names and parties are interchangeable in any attack depending on who's in government and who's in opposition. A lunatic idea in government is a fantastic idea in opposition. Why is this the case? Because when it comes to these sort of arguments the only message you have to get across 'us good, them bad'. You either accept something or dismiss it, based completely on where it came from.

Fuck the facts, who said it?

Don Randall certainly wishes he had said nothing at all.