Swan: Hey Bowen
Bowen: Make it quick Swan I'm having breakfast.
Swan: What are you having?
Bowen: I said quick Swan.
Swan: Okay, well, you know how I'm acting Prime Minister?
Bowen: No one gives a shit.
Swan: But I am right?
Bowen: (sigh)….yes.
Swan: Okay, cool. And you're aware of this Malaysia thing we've got for those boat guys.
Bowen: Dimly.
Swan: You serious?
Bowen: No I'm not serious numb nuts, get on with it.
Swan: Alright, so we've got this shitty Malaysia thing right?
Bowen: Sure do.
Swan: But no one likes it.
Bowen: Nup
Swan: Do they?
Bowen: No.
Swan: Why?
Bowen: Does this have an ending Swan?
Swan: Yeah, okay, alright. Well, do you remember that shitty policy Howard had? Moro
or something?
Bowen: Nauru.
Swan: Yeah, sorry, I was thinking of the chocolate bar.
Bowen:…Anyway, Nauru yeah, the Lib policy.
Swan: Well what if we had our crappy Malaysia thing AND their shitty Nauru thing? Everyone would be happy right?
Bowen:….what?
Swan: It'll be win-win.
Bowen: Wait…who's going to win?
Swan: Us.
Bowen: I don't fucking think so.
Swan: Well who will?
Bowen: Abbott you fucking idiot. This is madness. Are you on the cold tablets again?
Swan: No I've moved to Echinacea, it really is ver…
Bowen: Shut the fuck up Swan…just….FUCK.
Swan: What?
Bowen: You want to give Abbott his policy; Howard's policy?
Swan: And ours. We'd have ours. We'll both have something, that's a solution.
Bowen: It's not.
Swan: It sort of is.
Bowen: Not really.
Swan: I can't really see any other solution than everyone having what they want.
Bowen: There's a reason for that.
Swan: What?
Bowen: Nothing. How will this work? The policies are in conflict.
Swan: But we're settling the conflict.
Bowen: No, they have parts that are mutually exclusive.
Swan: …
Bowen: It means you can only do one or the other.
Swan: This is my decision.
Bowen: To make no decision?
Swan: Well, that's sort of a decision.
Bowen: (sigh)
Swan: Julia said I'm in change.
Bowen: Charge.
Swan: Yes, charge. I was thinking of the coins, you know the one in you poc…
Bowen: SWAN! Fine, look, fine whatever, both policies, we'll do both policies. When are we doing this?
Swan: Well, you're on ABC News Breakfast in five minutes. Just, you know, hit it out of the ball park. You know, a hole in one?
Bowen:…
Swan: Bowen?
Bowen:…
Swan: Bowen?
Bowen:…
Swan: Are you there Bowen?
Bowen: Yes.
Swan: The phone went funny, the Libs really did a hash job on Telstra…
Bowen: Shut up Swan, just shut up. I've got to go.
Swan: Seeya mate, have fun! Can you call me back when you're done?
Bowen: -click-
Swan: Must have been disconnected.
